improvements.

Well I have just finished having the best weekend that I have had in a long, long time. The weekend started Friday and ended today (Monday)!

Okay so Friday morning, the boy came to mine... after so long it was great to see him... and by so long, i probably mean a short amount of time, but it's only a 'long' feeling that you will only ever feel when you are in love (a 19 year-old in so-called love is crazy enough, eh?!).
We went and saw The Hangover - so so funny! I definitely recommend it :)
We then later went into Northbridge for my friends birthday/going away/end of her university degree celebrations. It was a good night, with many drinks but luckily my boy drove hehe.

Believe it or not, the following day I told my boy about my issues (see my past posts!). I cannot express how much I urge you to tell someone how you are feeling! It is such a weight off your shoulders - and I think you will be suprised at their reaction.

On Sunday,frends of mine, myself and my boy went to Little Creatures in Fremantle! Beer and burgers, what more could I ask for? Maybe some decent weather, yes please! I cooked a Thai Green Curry for my boy and his friend who he is housesitting with; then we watched a little bit of Rove and Friends on DVD.

This morning was an early morning as the boy had to go to work... but what a good start to the morning (hehe). I have got the nickname as the 'little housewife' after doing dishes and making beds... but I honestly don't mind! How great it is to be held by someone and not be alone... especially in weather like this - so scary! :(

I'm so glad that I have just gotten to 'vege' out today... and my sister has a day home from work, so it's nice to have some company! I also watched Armageddon. Admittedly I only watched it because I love the Aerosmith song in it - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing. This movie is excellent! I'm sure people already know that... and I'm a little slow on the up-take but I cried a lot, so if you feel like a little release... watch it!

Things that I am looking forward to this week: my parents returning from their travels (along with a Mossimo jacket that they bought me eheh), my first time going to the gym with my friend (I need to tone up!), seeing my boy... and so far that's it!

Just keep smiling, be thankful you have your health...

I am also looking at doing volunteer work after my uni degree in a different country! Helping teach in schools or working for a wildlife reserve! What can I say? I love life and I am so so grateful for each and every one of you who have made such an enormous impact, and you probably don't realise.

To the world you may be one person;
but to one person you may be the world.

the start.

Well here we go, another week coming to an end. Even though every day is practically a Saturday or a Sunday for me at the moment. Ah bless to university holidays. It's actually not all that it is cracked up to be. I mean, I have been occupying myself by working, baking, cleaning, etc... BUT I AM SO BORED!
Not bored as in "what to do, what to do"; but bored as in "where the fuck am I going in my life?"

If you don't know me I have a huge imagination. The problem is that when I get bored I look back at past situations where I have felt sad or hurt and I turn them into something they're not... Much worse than of course, they actually were. Then I get so worked up about this 'situation' that I get angry or start crying...

All in all, today wasn't so bad. I kept my mind busy and watched a happy movie, ha! Yesterday I watched Girl, Interrupted which would have to be one of my favourite movies, but in no way helped my situation.

I am getting so hung-up about little things. Do I say something, or do I leave it?

I get intently jealous and I feel used.

I have so much love but when I get in a mood I won't express it even though I feel it.

Tomorrow when I see somebody I haven't seen for a few days I am going to feel guilty about writing this. But I need to express how I am feeling for my own good, it is not for other's enjoyment... It is to stop me from being self-destructive. It is to stop me from telling someone close to me who I fear may judge me.

I have come to rather like this little blog.

Anyway, I am feeling okay at the moment. Tomorrow should be good too.

One last thing - I am so so sorry baby.

sunshine, but not so.

even though the weather is probably the worst that i have seen it all year;
i'm thinking a new morning, a fresh start.
i'm not sure why i get myself so down when there's is no obvious or apparent reason for it. at all.
i have my health, i have my family so i shouldn't get so down.
i am not going to feel down.

calling out.

i feel like crying. so why don't i?
why do i feel like this when i am the luckiest girl?
why do i feel like this if i am so loved?
uhhhhhhhhhhh i hate feeling like this.
like i use to.
i thought i got past all that.
somebody save me?

pure bliss.

how can you spend an entire weekend with someone, and a few hours after parting company with them, desperately miss them and crave their cuddles, kisses and just having them there?

is it really too early to tell what the future holds?
am i getting myself in too deep, too fast?

i don't know.

i just know that i have never been happier, i have never been more confident and that i have never been more loved in my entire life.

i love you so much my prince.

It's Not Fair

Oh he treats me with respect,
He says he loves me all the time.
He calls me 15 times a day,
He likes to make sure that I'm fine.
You know I've never met a man
who's made me feel quite so secure;
He's not like all them other boys,
They're all so dumb and immature.

I look into your eyes,
I want to get to know you...

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not okay.
Oh you're supposed to care,
But all you do is take!

mine...

I don't wanna miss one smile,
I don't wanna miss one kiss.
Well, I just wanna be with you,
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close...
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time...

the longest weekend.

Well the long weekend is finally ending, my 3 study free days are over. My weekend has been uneventful, at the same time as being eventful. Let me explain.

Friday I had my first exam - Invertebrate Animals. Aaaah. It actually went very good, well here's hoping! I did have to walk out once, my tummy was cramping pretty bad, but it didn't affect my performance. Afterward pretty much our whole class went to the tavern for a few bevans! I really enjoyed this, I love the people I do my course with and it was good just to chill! Even if I was driving and couldn't have bulk drinks! haha :)

Saturday I went shopping to buy some boxes for my boyfriends birthday present. I got him a ring but put boxes inside boxes so it wasn't completely obvious to what I was giving him, sneaky sneaky! And some Darrell Lea loveheart chocolates in each box. My boyfriend came over in the late afternoon and we just chilled abit... And that's about as exciting as Saturday got! He discovered that someone backed into his car when it was parked out the front of my house and the panel had been knocked. Luckily there's no scratches or dents so he is going to try and get it fixed tomorrow morning. But unfortunately it made him a bit upset, his first real incident on his new car :( So he went home soon after... We didn't end up making it to Northbridge for my friends going away which was disappointing but I understand how my boyfriend felt!

Sunday was better. I went to Little Creatures in Fremantle and had a couple of beers and a yummy burger at the Burger Bar. The weather was beautiful and sooo lovely! I then got to go to my work which is currently closed for the winter, and help with the wildlife! Well... I pretty much stood there for an hour holding the baby koala!!! Soooo cute!!! I wish I bought my camera.

And finally today, Monday, was my boyfriends twentieth birthday, so I went to his place with his family and had a nice lunch. I really enjoy being able to do this with him. It feels so so special to me for somebody to invite me into their family like he has! We were going to go to the Leftbank for a few drinks, but alas, he isn't a teenager anymore... and was tired haha!

Hmmm.... I've decided to take tomorrow off from study I think... 4 days off - I think I deserve it :)