the start.

Well here we go, another week coming to an end. Even though every day is practically a Saturday or a Sunday for me at the moment. Ah bless to university holidays. It's actually not all that it is cracked up to be. I mean, I have been occupying myself by working, baking, cleaning, etc... BUT I AM SO BORED!
Not bored as in "what to do, what to do"; but bored as in "where the fuck am I going in my life?"

If you don't know me I have a huge imagination. The problem is that when I get bored I look back at past situations where I have felt sad or hurt and I turn them into something they're not... Much worse than of course, they actually were. Then I get so worked up about this 'situation' that I get angry or start crying...

All in all, today wasn't so bad. I kept my mind busy and watched a happy movie, ha! Yesterday I watched Girl, Interrupted which would have to be one of my favourite movies, but in no way helped my situation.

I am getting so hung-up about little things. Do I say something, or do I leave it?

I get intently jealous and I feel used.

I have so much love but when I get in a mood I won't express it even though I feel it.

Tomorrow when I see somebody I haven't seen for a few days I am going to feel guilty about writing this. But I need to express how I am feeling for my own good, it is not for other's enjoyment... It is to stop me from being self-destructive. It is to stop me from telling someone close to me who I fear may judge me.

I have come to rather like this little blog.

Anyway, I am feeling okay at the moment. Tomorrow should be good too.

One last thing - I am so so sorry baby.